You are blood

Blood is thicker than water,

The words of an abandoned daughter.

You will fight for each other,

You will protect each other,

You are blood.

Never take one another for granted,

Never let love make you enchanted.

Fight for each other,

Protect each other,

You are blood.

Watch over sister and brother,

You will not get another

Chance to fight for him,

Moment to protect her.

You are blood.

Now and forever,

Blood is thicker than water,

Do not abandon your kin,

Do not let envy win,

You are blood.

RA

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Four winds

1.

Tentatively he moved forward,

Holding his head high, he bowed to the creator.

In that deep moment, a stillness washed over him,

he was no longer calm.

His focus had changed, and he sought to reap what he had sowed

years ago.

He called to the four winds to carry him to the eternal place,

There he would seek succour and bow his head once.

The red leaves wilted in the heat, as he walked along the moon,

 taking deep breaths, he touched the azure blue and recoiled instantly.

From his fingers a great light, in the darkness.

2.

Teutonic he stretched to the heavens and swam in her glory.

Taking sunlight from the sea and basking in heat,

the joy of a moment so profound.

The air around him was humid, beads of sweat formed on his brow

He bent down finding a cricket in the heath.

Splendor was woven in his eyes.

Golden starlight framing his stature,

He called out to the four winds to carry him again to the eternal place.

3.

Twilight facades, beckoned him onwards,

Laborious love sparkling for his favor, he touched the ice and crept silently forward,

tongues licking at his heels,

Arrows gripping his Achilles as the mountain formed above him.

Troubled by the solemn ponderances , he moved cautiously as the snake moved with him,

Warm and comforting she coiled around him.

Green eyes wandering, he slit her gluttonous throat and scattered her ashes to the winds.

Blue twinkling was reflected in the steely glass that covered his magnificent body,

Outstretching his feathers,

He called to the four winds to carry him to the eternal place.

I would really love to hear what you readers think of this one. So please do not be shy, leave me some comments or feedback or mail me r.alpro@yahoo.com. 😁🤓

Copyright © 2020 Gourmet for the Soul – All rights reserved

She

(From my early self)

Crows fall silent,

His footsteps pass by.

The air is chilly,

he clings to his coat.

Pivoting eyes,

watching subtle movements,

searching for prey.

Mist descends,

cloaked in darkness as

laughter carries on the air.

Quick to stir,

a phone drops to the pavement,

with her body.

Photo by Artem Lysenko on Pexels.com

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Poems from my earlier self (at the tender age of 13 years)

The End

Remember it all.

Nowhere to go, no one to call,

The fear on people’s faces, ‘to the showers’ they were told.

The odor lingering,

The smell of burning flesh,

Sweeps past gaunt, solemn faces,

Staring at empty spaces.

Stripped of clothes and dignity,

Hearts thumping, fear amounts,

Out of line, a young boy runs,

Towards the guns, he runs he runs.

Through the air a bullet flies,

A boy dies,

A mother cries,

An officer lies.

A body lies,

Twisted, naked, scattered, torn

Forlorn.

RA

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Copyright © 2020 Gourmet for the Soul – All rights reserved

Smoky hotel room (in my 20’s)

Smoked till my lungs hurt,

Lying back on the double bed,

Making patterns on the ceiling,

Switching from one eye to the next.

Standing, sitting, pacing,

Holding the matching cream phone,

Who to call?

Call out!

Shout out! “get me outta here!”

Tried to shower,

Waters too cold,

Pierces my hot skin,

Jumping back, I catch a glimpse

Of my naked figure in the oval mirror.

Twisting and turning,

Different poses, different shapes

Same body.

Feeling so alone, naked even.

I grab a towel.

Walking into the small hall,

Listening to sounds,

In rooms around me.

Love and anger all at once!

No one there

Lots of noise.

Another cigarette,

Brandy from the mini bar- no ice.

Dizzy head, shaky hands, heartbroken.

Watching some chat show on TV

Watching my life on the small screen.

Big bed, small body,

Little sleep once again.

RA

Copyright © 2020 Gourmet for the Soul – All rights reserved

For ‘Normal People’

Photo by Andrew Neel on Pexels.com

I tortured my soul with questions and doubt,

I racked my brain for answers.

Crying myself to sleep,

Forgetting to eat.

Tearing myself apart,

The answer so simple.

You whispered, tears in your voice,

“Baby, listen to your heart”

RA

Copyright © 2020 Gourmet for the Soul – All rights reserved

A conversation with Me

“Hi Soul, what do you need me to hear?”

“Yourself”

“Why?”

“You already have all the answers”

“But I cannot understand them, it’s all jumbled up in my head and my stomach hurts too much and……”

“STOP”

“Stop what?”

“Trying to fix everything, sometimes, things need to be left broken, that is the way it is meant to be”

“But…”. (voice tails off)

“STOP!, Stop trying to control it and just live it, even love it, just stop trying to make it perfect, it will never be. That is the beauty of all this, it’s odd, awkward and strange and that’s what makes it unique- once in a lifetime you might say”

“Yes, but…”

“Let me clarify, sunsets are by their nature, pardon the pun-Beautiful, but so are wrinkles, they tell the story of a life, that was laughed, lived and loved, they are what we consider imperfect.

“I have no strength for this anymore, it’s all too difficult.”

“’You are wasting your energy on the mundane and silly, they’re not the reason you are really here, they’re distractions. Relax enjoy the moments, find the beauty in the imperfect.

“Why am I so scared Soul, why is there so much Fear?”

“You are learning new things, new is scary. You cannot stay in this safe place forever, what’s the point in that?”

“Nothing”

“Exactly, nothing, so why do you insist on staying put, hanging on to the past, not letting go?”

“I do not know; I really do not know”

“Yes, you do” (said mockingly like a child)

“Really!”

“Yes, ssooooo????…”

“Hmmmm-safety”

“BINGO, you feel safe now, because you control the narrative, the situations in your life, to a point anyway.

“Hmmm I guess”

“’You guess! If tomorrow you decide to change something, you still can and will feel safe. It is about your perception, everyone can lead the very life they want, how do we do this?”

“ We believe in it, make it happen.”

“Yes, now you got it girl! Now you got it. Take a break now, come back to me tomorrow, we can chat more then. For now, start by seeing the beauty in the imperfect, look at your wrinkles.”

“Thank you Soul, chat tomorrow.”

Copyright © 2020 Gourmet for the Soul – All rights reserved

The Fear

My soul has been drowned by emotions,

They ebb, flow, then cascade.

Sometimes in the still, they are still too.

The Fear RA

Shaded by the branches of everyday

tasks, so mundane they seem needless.

I cannot understand…….. when the fear comes,

It crashes over me and I panic,

It crushes my spirit,

It captures my soul, and I no longer breathe.

RA

Copyright © 2020 Gourmet for the Soul – All rights reserved

Fruit fly

Photo by Leonidas Takao Ishikawa on Pexels.com

You entered my home,

With the assumption you were allowed.

You explored wherever you liked,

Lingering too long in the kitchen.

I watched you intently,

You moved lazily towards the window.

A mist descended upon you,

I hope your time was fruitful,

Little fruit fly.

RA

Copyright © 2020 Gourmet for the Soul – All rights reserved

The Beginning 2

‘Go to bed’, his low dark voice startled Anya and she jumped. The light in the kitchen had darkened one side of his face, in this moment he truly looked like a phantom. Anya shivered, trying not to reveal her fear.

‘I came in the back, not that it is any of your business’, his voice was raised and angry. Anya knew this tone and how to not rise to its challenge, she murmured ‘ok’, taking the warm milk off the stove.  He watched her every movement, his eyes followed her long fingers as she wrapped them around the cup. ‘Bed’ he repeated in a whisper, Anya obeyed. She listened as he turned out the lights and locked the doors. Her stomach churning as she ascended the stairs.

Silently she placed the cup on the bedside table and slipped under the cool, refreshing covers. As she lay in the dark, her whole body was pumping with her heartbeat, she tried to control it, but it just seemed to get worse. She held her breath, a door slammed. Anya turned her head into her pillow, grabbing it and sobbing so hard she felt sick, but so quietly he could not hear. Her whole body was shaking. Nothing made sense anymore.

RA

Copyright © 2020 Gourmet for the Soul – All rights reserved

Photo by Pedro Figueras on Pexels.com

Winter is no Friend

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Winter is no friend

RA

The sun has risen and fallen,

The day has come to an End.

The trees are bare and Broken,

Winter is no Friend.

It Smothers one in a snowdrift,

Locked behind a cabin door,

Feeling this could be Forever,

Merely a year or more.

It curls one up by a Fire,

A glow so warm, so safe,

Somewhere you will tire of,

Leaving your heart, a Waif.

Winter is no Friend,

It Misleads you in the rain.

Droplets of fear, Doubt and loneliness,

A numbness that is Pain.

Copyright © 2020 Gourmet for the Soul – All rights reserved

Languages

RA

Looking down I realise how far away I am,

how disconnected I am,

how unconnected I am.

Even when I speak in a language I understand,

I need an interpreter to tell them what I mean.

I roar and shout inside, my mouth utters no sound,

I’m deaf and dumb, though I speak.

Sometimes they understand,

when I squeal or tap on wood,

why don’t they understand when I am silent?

When all speak white and I black.

Photo by Kat Jayne on Pexels.com

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A little about me

So, I have to introduce myself! Em fun times.

Hi, my name is Rö, a cute little nickname I acquired in a better moment of childhood. So it was Rö or Pigeon-hmm! Please do not get me wrong with pigeons, I like them, (check out Spies in Disguise), just preferred Rö and that my lovely people gives you a clue!

Ok, ok I’m a mum to two great but can absolutely drive you insane kids! A girl and a boy 😂 chalk and cheese to use a Cliché.

I am also a full time teacher, but bravely made the move this year into a new 5 year role in my school as a HSCL. Wait for it , it is a great title, a Home School, Community Liaison Coordinator! Say that fast, after a few whiskeys ! laughing 😆 now, Laughter is so awesome for the soul. And I know I don’t do enough of it.

So , why should you even read this blog?

Well here are a few more interesting facts about me. I am turning 40 in a week, no this is not a mid life crisis, this is a realisation that I should do this- help me and then others hopefully. I have suffered with Anxiety & Depression all my life but only diagnosed 4 years ago, when my baby boy was 6 months old. I always felt different and eccentric compared to others, I found it impossible to socially integrate meaningfully. I was a tomboy for years, my big brother was my best friend, we were inseparable. I found it hard to have friends who were girls, and I think I still do. I found the honesty of male friendship refreshing.

So I guess, writing has always been my escape, my quiet place , my ranting space and my solace. Here I hope to upload lots of crazy pieces for you to read and enjoy. Maybe like so many writers in my life you might be inspired, as they say ‘you can’t cross the Ocean, unless you have the courage to leave the shore’

So Bon Voyage and I’ll catch at you later.

  • Writing, parenting, self care, mental health