You are blood

Blood is thicker than water,

The words of an abandoned daughter.

You will fight for each other,

You will protect each other,

You are blood.

Never take one another for granted,

Never let love make you enchanted.

Fight for each other,

Protect each other,

You are blood.

Watch over sister and brother,

You will not get another

Chance to fight for him,

Moment to protect her.

You are blood.

Now and forever,

Blood is thicker than water,

Do not abandon your kin,

Do not let envy win,

You are blood.

RA

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Sufficient for the day is its own trouble

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All is quiet now,

the storm within your head is over.

The white squall of words and lies,

calmed beneath the morning sun.

Driven out is the darkness of that night,

a new bounteous day is born on the horizon.

Future worries no, again

Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

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Well Hello!

Firstly bloggers and followers, apologies for my absence. I have not posted in a few days. I have been doing a little soul searching and some serious, intense work on myself. With my counsellor last week, I broke down a fairly serious dam which flooded me with a torrent of emotional trauma and memories I was very unprepared for. Perfect fodder for the writer but putting pen to paper did not happen. I wanted to write so much but the words just wouldn’t come together in any coherent manner, honestly I was struggling with the day to day so I took the time out. The anxiety was winning out unfortunately.

I felt like I was drowning a little and just decided to tread water until things in my ocean calmed a little. I was also working for my new role and doing some pretty tough training for that. So my mind was logical and fractured at the same time. And of course there is the Mammy and wife role which demands my energy also. I do not want this to be negative, I am lucky to be safe and healthy in this turbulent time. The ‘Invisible Demons’, I struggle with everyday just make things a little tougher. Sometimes I am not sure what has happened at the end of a day or where the day has gone. Time seems so fleeting, you try to trap moments and memories with your kids or something beautiful you notice, trying to slow down time’s engine. So the demons do not win.

I realise just writing this now is probably not making any sense, but the idea behind this blog for me was the transformative power of writing so annoyingly I am going to waffle on. I have always taught my students that waffles are only for breakfast, you should never use waffle in your writing. LOL 😂 I guess we are having waffles for supper this evening! A few pieces will follow this post, I hope they inspire you or open up something for you as they have done for me whilst writing.

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Four winds

1.

Tentatively he moved forward,

Holding his head high, he bowed to the creator.

In that deep moment, a stillness washed over him,

he was no longer calm.

His focus had changed, and he sought to reap what he had sowed

years ago.

He called to the four winds to carry him to the eternal place,

There he would seek succour and bow his head once.

The red leaves wilted in the heat, as he walked along the moon,

 taking deep breaths, he touched the azure blue and recoiled instantly.

From his fingers a great light, in the darkness.

2.

Teutonic he stretched to the heavens and swam in her glory.

Taking sunlight from the sea and basking in heat,

the joy of a moment so profound.

The air around him was humid, beads of sweat formed on his brow

He bent down finding a cricket in the heath.

Splendor was woven in his eyes.

Golden starlight framing his stature,

He called out to the four winds to carry him again to the eternal place.

3.

Twilight facades, beckoned him onwards,

Laborious love sparkling for his favor, he touched the ice and crept silently forward,

tongues licking at his heels,

Arrows gripping his Achilles as the mountain formed above him.

Troubled by the solemn ponderances , he moved cautiously as the snake moved with him,

Warm and comforting she coiled around him.

Green eyes wandering, he slit her gluttonous throat and scattered her ashes to the winds.

Blue twinkling was reflected in the steely glass that covered his magnificent body,

Outstretching his feathers,

He called to the four winds to carry him to the eternal place.

I would really love to hear what you readers think of this one. So please do not be shy, leave me some comments or feedback or mail me r.alpro@yahoo.com. 😁🤓

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She

(From my early self)

Crows fall silent,

His footsteps pass by.

The air is chilly,

he clings to his coat.

Pivoting eyes,

watching subtle movements,

searching for prey.

Mist descends,

cloaked in darkness as

laughter carries on the air.

Quick to stir,

a phone drops to the pavement,

with her body.

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Poems from my earlier self (at the tender age of 13 years)

The End

Remember it all.

Nowhere to go, no one to call,

The fear on people’s faces, ‘to the showers’ they were told.

The odor lingering,

The smell of burning flesh,

Sweeps past gaunt, solemn faces,

Staring at empty spaces.

Stripped of clothes and dignity,

Hearts thumping, fear amounts,

Out of line, a young boy runs,

Towards the guns, he runs he runs.

Through the air a bullet flies,

A boy dies,

A mother cries,

An officer lies.

A body lies,

Twisted, naked, scattered, torn

Forlorn.

RA

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Invisible Demons

I am plagued by invisible demons,

and the demons of others.

Their mistakes and shame burn my flesh.

Invisible demons that,

swarm like flies on a hot summer’s day,

Persistent, irritating.

Invisible demons that,

Breathe alcoholic odors into your face,

With repetition and ignorance.

Invisible demons that,

Crawl like a ticking beetle on your skin.

Invisible demons that,

Corral your emotions and freeze your heart.

Invisible demons that,

Slowly and insidiously rip you apart.

RA

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Smoky hotel room (in my 20’s)

Smoked till my lungs hurt,

Lying back on the double bed,

Making patterns on the ceiling,

Switching from one eye to the next.

Standing, sitting, pacing,

Holding the matching cream phone,

Who to call?

Call out!

Shout out! “get me outta here!”

Tried to shower,

Waters too cold,

Pierces my hot skin,

Jumping back, I catch a glimpse

Of my naked figure in the oval mirror.

Twisting and turning,

Different poses, different shapes

Same body.

Feeling so alone, naked even.

I grab a towel.

Walking into the small hall,

Listening to sounds,

In rooms around me.

Love and anger all at once!

No one there

Lots of noise.

Another cigarette,

Brandy from the mini bar- no ice.

Dizzy head, shaky hands, heartbroken.

Watching some chat show on TV

Watching my life on the small screen.

Big bed, small body,

Little sleep once again.

RA

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For ‘Normal People’

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I tortured my soul with questions and doubt,

I racked my brain for answers.

Crying myself to sleep,

Forgetting to eat.

Tearing myself apart,

The answer so simple.

You whispered, tears in your voice,

“Baby, listen to your heart”

RA

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The Fear

My soul has been drowned by emotions,

They ebb, flow, then cascade.

Sometimes in the still, they are still too.

The Fear RA

Shaded by the branches of everyday

tasks, so mundane they seem needless.

I cannot understand…….. when the fear comes,

It crashes over me and I panic,

It crushes my spirit,

It captures my soul, and I no longer breathe.

RA

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Fruit fly

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You entered my home,

With the assumption you were allowed.

You explored wherever you liked,

Lingering too long in the kitchen.

I watched you intently,

You moved lazily towards the window.

A mist descended upon you,

I hope your time was fruitful,

Little fruit fly.

RA

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The Beginning 1

undefined RA

The night fell silent. A creeping mist engulfed the paddocks around the house. Anya sat huddled on her cast iron bed, the bars surrounding her like a prison, she was its captive. She knew it wasn’t the bars that kept her prisoner here, but her unwavering love for him. It chained her down and allowed her to soar, all at once.

The fire in the corner had now died away leaving smoky glowing embers. Would his love for her die this way? Would the passionate red licking flames be extinguished ? Clasping her hands over her ears she tried to block out the voices. The voices of fear, unable to open up her heart to him.

The coffee she had made earlier had gone cold, her mind wandering, she picked up the mug and opened the heavy wooden door. It scraped on the rough tiles and the sound echoed through the empty house.

The hall was cold and silent, Anya pulled her dressing-gown around her for warmth. A strange wind whistled outside the house, her heart quickened. The tiles gave way to a soft red carpet on the landing. As she crossed, something caught her eye.

In the glass panel at the side of the front door, she watched two figures blurry but embracing. Anya drew a long low breath, squinting her eyes and moving closer to the banister, she tried to see them. The porch light was dull and obscured her vision.

Glancing back, the china clock struck two am, Anya wondered who was outside and why she had not noticed the hours slipping away.

Quietly she descended the large grand staircase, hugging herself, she was shivering. ‘Damn’ she squealed as the coffee mug, bounced along the blue and white tiled floor before smashing into a thousand pieces. Looking up the figures had disappeared, ‘Damn it’ , Anya muttered under her breath. Panic gripped her heart again, she tiptoed round the mess and crept into the kitchen. Before switching on the light she peered into the darkness outside the window, looking for a glimmer or movement. Nothing.

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Winter is no Friend

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Winter is no friend

RA

The sun has risen and fallen,

The day has come to an End.

The trees are bare and Broken,

Winter is no Friend.

It Smothers one in a snowdrift,

Locked behind a cabin door,

Feeling this could be Forever,

Merely a year or more.

It curls one up by a Fire,

A glow so warm, so safe,

Somewhere you will tire of,

Leaving your heart, a Waif.

Winter is no Friend,

It Misleads you in the rain.

Droplets of fear, Doubt and loneliness,

A numbness that is Pain.

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Adagio for Lovers

RA

Among all the voices, I hear but one,

inside my head, resounding like a bell.

The line of street lamps glow like fairy lights,

the air is filled with the music of thought.

Tears, as the heart’s rhythm races with the music,

Moonlight tinkling reality’s piano.

In my mind lovers dance, he held her,

red velvet tears, glistening on her cheekbones.

A lone violin as the dancing fades,

Waves of feelings, mezzo-forte, forte.

The tears like the music, have their melody,

Red velvet shimmers and maybe it ends

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Languages

RA

Looking down I realise how far away I am,

how disconnected I am,

how unconnected I am.

Even when I speak in a language I understand,

I need an interpreter to tell them what I mean.

I roar and shout inside, my mouth utters no sound,

I’m deaf and dumb, though I speak.

Sometimes they understand,

when I squeal or tap on wood,

why don’t they understand when I am silent?

When all speak white and I black.

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