Carpe Diem

Rö– writer, realist, watcher, mother, partner and thinker. Trying to make a change. Hometown: Westmeath Ireland ☘️.

I thought I had it all together, how could I not? I had a good career, loving husband, two now healthy kids and a home of our own. Yet it’s Monday morning, I’m collapsed on my kitchen floor with my two babies clinging to me as my stomach heaves, my head swirls and I cannot stop crying- a sheer feeling of terror, pure terror. I look at the clock and know I should be in the making lunches phase, the churning in my stomach gets worse I am paralysed ‘I can’t, I can’t’ playing over and over again in my head. What the hell is wrong with me? Get a grip Ro, you have felt like this a million times before, just get on with! I couldn’t, that morning I sat on the floor crying for hours with my kids holding me and crying with me. I knew then something was seriously wrong, there were too many cracks, the dam had burst. I had to make a change, for me, for my husband, for my kids, for my career.

I had to start finding my authentic self, I had to start being me.

Two years later here I am thinking, writing and starting to do what I love. It has been very hard and even now I do not know if I have the courage to continue writing. One line at at time I guess. I hope you enjoy what I have to share and maybe somewhere along the way you will learn as I am to forgive yourself for not being perfect and enjoy the imperfect.

So, now let me introduce myself! Em fun times.

Hi, my name is Rö, a cute little nickname I acquired in a better moment of childhood. So it was Rö or Pigeon-hmm! Please do not get me wrong with pigeons, I like them, (check out Spies in Disguise), that my lovely people gives you a clue!

Ok, ok I’m a mum to two great but can absolutely drive you insane kids! A girl and a boy 😂 chalk and cheese to use a Cliché.

I am also a full time teacher, but bravely made the move this year into a new 5 year role in my school as a HSCL. Wait for it , it is a great title, a Home School, Community Liaison Coordinator! Say that fast, after a few whiskeys ! laughing 😆 now, Laughter is so awesome for the soul. And I know I don’t do enough of it.

So , why should you even read this blog?

Well here are a few more interesting facts about me. I am turning 40 this year, no this is not a mid-life crisis, this is a realisation that I should do this- help me and then others hopefully. I have suffered with Anxiety & Depression all my life but only diagnosed 4 years ago, when my baby boy was 6 months old. I guess the Post Partum depression opened my eyes that this was not just a post baby thing it had been with me all along in different guises. I always felt different and eccentric compared to others, I found it impossible to socially integrate meaningfully. I was a tomboy for years, my big brother was my best friend, we were inseparable. I found it hard to have friends who were girls, and I think I still do. I found the honesty of male friendship refreshing.

So I guess, writing has always been my escape, my quiet place , my ranting space and my solace. Here I hope to upload lots of crazy pieces for you to read and enjoy. Maybe like so many writers in my life you might be inspired, as they say ‘you can’t cross the Ocean, unless you have the courage to leave the shore’

So Bon Voyage and catch-at-me later.

Drop me a line with your thoughts- r.alpro@yahoo.com

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