Smoky hotel room (in my 20’s)

Smoked till my lungs hurt,

Lying back on the double bed,

Making patterns on the ceiling,

Switching from one eye to the next.

Standing, sitting, pacing,

Holding the matching cream phone,

Who to call?

Call out!

Shout out! “get me outta here!”

Tried to shower,

Waters too cold,

Pierces my hot skin,

Jumping back, I catch a glimpse

Of my naked figure in the oval mirror.

Twisting and turning,

Different poses, different shapes

Same body.

Feeling so alone, naked even.

I grab a towel.

Walking into the small hall,

Listening to sounds,

In rooms around me.

Love and anger all at once!

No one there

Lots of noise.

Another cigarette,

Brandy from the mini bar- no ice.

Dizzy head, shaky hands, heartbroken.

Watching some chat show on TV

Watching my life on the small screen.

Big bed, small body,

Little sleep once again.

RA

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